❧ You don't have to know me/


#prayforgrandma
Saturday, June 11, 2011, 9:58 AM

oh hi, quite long never blog already.
everything's going well regarding the meeting people thing.
tuesday went to watch kungfu panda 2 with parents. very nice and funny ;)

i learn to treasure my parents rn, and they are very understanding,they won't ask for As, and try to understand me too.

now very worry for grandma ):
mummy just called and tell me my uncle (her brother) went to err, the shen or something, then ask, they say grandma won't really make it this time ))))))):
you can say they are superstitious, but sometimes ........
i just hope everything will be alright, sigh.
yesterday, went hospital to see her, she looks like she's in alot of pain, and her eyes are going to close anytime, maybe she's tired due to the medicine, but i see her in pain, then also very xin ku ))):
#prayforgrandma #prayforgrandma #prayforgrandma

污点
Sunday, June 5, 2011, 9:23 PM

God says: "Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now."

so i'll just take step by step, let tomorrow pass. and face whatever obstacles that gets in, and everything will be over.
and tuesday too. especially tuesday, to be exact.
but i'm still wondering what xxxx will say tomorrow. very worrying.

my hair is like freaking short now. fml. i have no idea how to face people now.
maybe, i may change, for real.
and all the smiles from now onwards, are going to be fake, no matter how real they are.

I can't distinguish between any of my emotions anymore.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011, 2:04 PM

"Even when you feel ugly or depressed or guilty or ashamed, there is an inner spark in you which is light. This light is your beauty. This light is your reflection of God. You are a child of God, thus you are beautiful. "

very depressed these three days.
many suicidal thoughts too, especially yesterday night. i felt that i'm just an extra person living in this world, disrupting my parents' peace. my mum said, if she was given a choice, she would choose not to have me, having a dog is better.
ok..... i totally don't know what to say. but seriously, she doesn't care anything when she said that. she has no idea how hurtful those words can be.

class outing was super fun. very fun. i'll update more about class outing another day when i feel better.

再多的等待 都是空白滴.
Saturday, May 28, 2011, 10:54 PM

i don't know why. lose a little hope as days pass by.

went hairdresser just now.
mum is super naggy today. i have no idea why. she's really pissing me off. she talks no sense. and keep repeating everything she had already nagged.
she's nagging now too.
maybe i should forget about watching guess later, to avoid getting nag again -.-
i tried understanding her, and not argue back. but when she say some things that i don't think is right, i have to tell her my reasons what. i'm not an idiot who sits there getting nagged at even when stuffs are not right.
now, she's telling me i'm giving her stress for having to nag at me ???

friendship is rather ok i guess? but one thing for sure is, after this, i've learnt to treasure the people around me more.

i really hate my life. why is my life so pathetic? and why can't i have any say in this world?

if only i were a bird
Thursday, May 26, 2011, 8:53 PM

ptm today. got back report slip.
improved, but didn't meet my target. it's okay, i'll work even harder for ca2.
people look down on me, never mind, i'll prove to them everything by the end of this streaming year.

many conflicts rn. i want to know the problem, so that i can make an effort to change it, and everything goes back to square one.
but nobody wants to tell me the problem, so it's left hanging there, we are practically strangers.
i don't understand a single thing.
i don't understand what's happening.
i don't understand what's wrong.
i don't understand why.
i don't understand how did things turn like this

i can't rely on anybody rn.
cuz there ain't anybody whom i can.
now i understand why there's a quote whereby it says,
everybody has their own problem to solve, so nobody will have the time to help you solve yours.
i used to think i can tell my problems to my friends,
but now, i don't think so.
they have better things to do. rather than my stuffs.
they look happier without me with them.
cuz i see that this afternoon.
i think my existence won't do anything to anyone.
even if i go tomorrow, nobody will even figure out.